Journal- HEROES

Maybe this sounds shady to you.  Maybe you will feel confused.  Maybe this will excite you.  But maybe I have finally found my calling.  Its only fair.  

After all for so many years we give to our children...to our boys and then the loss.  Some may have greater losses than others.  Some may not have any losses...other their child.   Whatever it may, its what needs to be done...

...to recognize Parents as heroes too!  

I wrote this to our soon to be governor of Florida.  I would like to get a petition and have this recognize as a bill for our Parents.  They need to be credit not only as Parents who gave up so much but that they were willing to sacrifice to entrust their work skills to care for their boys (and girls).

Dear Governor Crist: 

I am thankful that you will be the chosen one to be a leader for our great state of Florida.  Our state is in a great need of help, not because you were once our Governor, but because our current Governor did nothing but left problems. Big problems.  So I declare that God will not only bless you, but bless us to have you as our leader.

I am writing to you because there is an issue. Not only in this state but every state.  You see, I was once a single parent. I gave up my work, my lifestyle and everything for my son. I did it because I loved him enough to stop and do something for him. He had Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy.  I gave up my career or any chance of success in life.  The disease came to the point that he needed 24/7 care. I advocated for him. I put my life & health on the back burner for him. I made sure his needs were taken care of, and even after my stroke, I painfully cared for him, especially when the nursing agency could  not provide nurses.  Though it was difficult, it was a joy to spend time with him. We watched movies and talked. I would sleep on the floor in his room and when he needed a drink, I was there; when he needed to be turned, I was there, when he needed to... well you know where I’m going. 

At the beginning of the year, I was diagnosed with cancer. I had to spend a month in the hospital and without being with him.  The cameras stopped working and I became petrified of what was going on in his room. It angered me that the nurses would shut off the camera.  I could not get family to come and help.  I had to literally walk out of the hospital with an open wound to get to him.  By the beginning of February I was told I was cancer free.  But then suddenly at the end of February, the most unusual thing happened....and then he died  from complications of DMD. 

And then I became homeless. You see, this year had been nothing but pure losses for me.  When Tim passed I lost so much.  My home. Our cat. Our truck. And then I found out that I could not go back to work after trying to get a ticket to work through Vocational Rehabilitation.  Of course I thought this meant I can go back to college and upgrade my skills- go for my AS or AA degree. But its funny how the choices you made in your past (like 20 plus years) would affect you now.  I found out I could not get financial aid for college. Again another blow to me.  I need to do something with my life. I just can’t sit here and do nothing.  This saddened me.

What saddened and angered me the most, I was a parent who sacrificed so much to care for my son.  I gave up my career. And now a 14 year gap was preventing me with to continue with my career. Why could not that 14 year gap of advocating, caring and loving my son not be given a credit?  Why was that used against me?   Why did society look down at me instead of “praising” me.  I did not understand this.  And the sad thing is that I know I am not the only mother having to go through this. I am sure there are thousands of mothers who sacrificed so much; but then we are “punished” instead of giving credit.

You know when we do our Resumes, we write all our work and volunteer work and employers look at it with credit. But when you mention a gap of caring for your sick child, they hold that against you. Why? Why? 

We need to recognize these mothers and fathers who sacrificed to care for their child who may have had a life-threatening diseases.  My son died. Timothy is no longer with me. I am homeless. I had no money to put away.  My family could careless about me...& Timothy.  And I have no career to go back to. I have no money to go back to college.  And instead of helping me, society looks down at me. What other parent has gone through the same thing.

I know you have a lot on your plate and you are going to do what needs to be done for the children who are still alive, but while doing so, think of what the parents have to go through. How much they had to sacrifice.  Like warriors, our children are heroes.  Like soldiers, parents needs to be recognize...with pride.

I am glad I mentioned this to you, I just came up with an idea.  I hope you will support and join me in recognizing parents. That is what I am going to create a foundation to help parents, like myself, when there is a loss.  Funds for college or to help get into an apartment or stay in the one they are in.  People think we make money off of disability, etc..etc..we don’t.  I had nothing. I lost everything. And no one was there for me.  We need to make sure someone is there for them.  Somehow, I don’t know how, I am going to create the Timothy M. Bird Foundation...to recognize parents who gave up so much. 

Sincerely,
Dee Bird

7257 NW 4th Blvd #34

Gainesville, FL 32607

(352) 871-2381