Journal - I cried today

I cried today.

I just gone in to see my gastro physician due to the enormous amount of pain on my left side. It felt like my intestines were being squeezed.  I had also discovered my right leg swollen in the shower.  She had sent me to make sure I had no clots in my legs.

While laying there, Timothy kept coming to my thoughts.  I so wish he was here so I can tell him so much.  I missed him so much. I so want to tell him about the movie I saw yesterday ( ) and the new ones coming out that I just knew he would love. I just missing telling him a lot of stuff.

I not only missing him as my son, but as my friend.




I wept as I slowly drove myself home. 

I wanted to get under the covers and weep.  Where is Tim.why is he not here with me right now.  I felt like i have failed him as mother and a friend. I prayed that he did give his heart to God before his last breath.

As I cried, I heard a voice say..." I am right here Mom, in your thoughts and in your heart. I hear you. I am right next to you"

I wept.  He has been here all along and through my tears, I missed him.

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