I sent a nice text to Judy's live-in daughter if she could kindly help us keep the house clean (after all she has not yet mopped the living room floor like promised a couple weeks back), and if she was not going to use the old mattress, or if her friend was not going to claim it by the 14th, its going to dump.It has been sitting in the back porch for weeks now. Blocking some of the things we need to get done. She keeps claiming he is coming, hen she claims she was going to use it on her bed and get rid of her stuff. So I was sort giving her a little motivation to get up and do something...like yesterday. What I didn't expect was a mad crazy women to come screaming at me and banging on the door hard enough to move the furniture away from the one door. Come on...really? Oh we can to make this into a drama scene now. Good thing Judy wasn't home yet. She was not willing to listen, seems her hollowing adventure was more important then why I was trying to explain to her. Of course, the nasty text messeges kept coming. Good thing I can back that up and save it! Yes I felt intimated by it. Yes I felt frightened by it and yes I wanted to call the cops. But I decided to control myself and hand it nicely as much as possible.
As soon as Judy gets home, I took her out. First to a friends house to get some advise. Needed the reminder of boundaries. I know this is not my family or my house, but for respect reasons,I treat it as it is and I HELP TAKE CARE OF IT. I clean (Ms. J does not do), I take care of the yard (Ms. J does not do). I clean my cooking mess when I'm done, I mop all the floors (usually but been holding Ms. J up to her word in mopping the floor, still not done), I nearly broke my back getting that yard cleaned up to look nice and her excuse was that was my project not hers but yet.....)
This morning, she didn't get her mom up on time and then she undermined my new routine by making sure the shower and dressed is down so Judy can sit to eat a nice breakfast with her coffee and meds. Instead, she ignored everything I was trying to do and went out of her way to make sure her mother had her coffee while in the shower. The risk of hot coffee being spilt on her mother or a mug being broken in the shower. No caution was taken. Then she took the bagel I was making for her mom, that her mom told me she wanted NO butter on it but with PB and jam. So I was starting this when of course, Ms. J decided to blobbed loads of butter on the bagel- ignore the pb and jam that was sitting what next to the toaster. She, of course, didn't bother to ask for her mom's meds and gave her a whole bagel in her room. So now, not only is her mother running late (been in the shower to long-remember I was now leaving this to her), she takes out clothes for her mom (which I already did and had in the bathroom) She decides she is going to dress and feed her mother, but the last few months, sleep was so much more important. Not only that, her mom didn't get to finish the whole bagel, which by the way her dog ate. But when the bus arrives for her mom, where is she? in bed sleeping. Who gets her on the bus, I do.
Slaming the door was another sign of immaturity. it surely doesn't solve anything. So I told myself, whatever it takes, do however you can try to be nice and positive even if you don't like the situation. I know- easier said than done. But when you are tired of excuse after excuse and nothing gets done and it seems like only 1-2 ppl is doing all the work, you wonder who is really living here for free?
So- I'm switching subjects now. I want to share a sweet memory of Timothy (have to stay on top of this).
One of the challenges I had was taking Tim on trips. We both loved our vacation times together but the work was how to get him around in his power wheelchair. This was of course way before his ventilator. So it was in 2005 or 2006 that Tim made a bold move and do something different and go someplace different. We were heading out to Arizona.
This was of course not the year that we had to race across the Atlanta Airport to quickly catch a flight. Even if he was not in a power chair yet, he was in a manual chair and that was way to funny. (I think that was the year we went to Massachusetts to my grandmother's memorial service).
But back to Arizona. We were going to stay with some friends on the Navajo Reservation. Learn more about their culture and have the chance to visit spots that were going to be exciting. Mike,my friends hubby, was going to be our tour guide. Mike is a Navajo himself. Once we got to the airport and to the Airport, we realized the car rental was totally someplace else. Well, I only had two arms and more suit cases than needed and nothing was all going to fit on back of Tim's chair. So we found a way to take a bus there. I know in reservation I ordered a van for a good reason.
I was shock, almost as much as Tim was when we approached our rented vehicle that it was a SUV. ummmm....what part of the power wheel chair did you not get? Are you telling me- reserving weeks ahead of time and you could NOT get a van for this week for Tim? I don't know how we did it, but we got everything in, including the power wheel chair and set our sights to the 90 minute drive to Window Rock Arizona. I was all pumped up and Tim acted like it too. The whole drive we talked about our goals to go visit this week, and there was much to see.
Now mind you, Tim is a teenager and with me, no matter interesting I can get, was still bored to death. Even if he had two guys around his age with him. From listening to a Navajo concert to visiting four corners, from Farmington New Mexico to Shiprock (and oh- never made it to the Grand Canyon), from Canyon De Chelly National park- was a total blast. That where it takes us to the most interesting time. Because Mike was much more familiar with the area,I let him drive. And wow!!! (I wish I can find my photos on this. I know its in a bag but packed away in my storage. I will have to share it with you.)
From the moment we drove up, had the chance to visit the museum- the ride from there on was fabulous. IF Tim was here he would tell you in person what a real ride that was-literally. Thank God we did have the SUV. Talk about a bouncy ride. Poor Tim. I had to find a way to hold him up. He was shaken like spice jar. To hear him laugh. How to explain this...if I remember right. We were driving through an area that should had been filled with water for a river, we saw more (what I call) ancestry Navajo homes in the rocks, lots of wild horses, and surprisingly a picnic area with bathrooms. I know I took lots of pictures-loads of them.
You had to be there to experience it, not just the ride but the view, the scenery, to hear the sounds and walk it (or as Tim would say, "ride it"). Ok Tim loved roller coaster rides, the thrill, but this was one thrill that made your heart jump. No, or maybe just as exciting as the Grand Canyon. But these are some of the photos of what we experience while there.
The amazing thing about it, look at all that beauty that God created for us to experience.
And oh...the SUV we had was this bright golden yellow-which we called the bumble bee truck. It was a joke whenever we saw a SUV in that color for years to come.
This was an amazing experience. It would be a great place to take your family. Ohhh I wish my brain would work more so I can tell you more. Watch it will come to me later.
I think Tim and I talked about it all the way back to the airport and home. I believe it was one of our best vacations together that we could had ever experienced (other than the Disney cruise by the Make a Wish). We loved the four corners too. Took a photo of us on the corner for four states (Arizona, Utah, Colorado, and New Mexico). Have to find that photo too.
Its a vacation for any family (or couple) I would recommend. We had a wonderful time there and I know Tim was full of smiles while back home. We had a lot to talk about and photos to sort. A story to tell. An experience to share. Now- I do have the CD from the outdoor concert we went to...Kokopeli Dreams - plays the native American Flute Music. Fabulous. Got his autograph too. :) If & when I find those photos, I'm going to share them with you all.
Meanwhile...enjoy some of his music I found on Youtube.
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