Was brushing my hair on Friday when I noticed that my left side of my face/mouth was looking droopy. I thought it was weird that now it would show up like this (I mean its been 4 yrs since my stroke). So I just happen to email my primary and neuro doctor about it. Should this be a concern? My primary called and told me to call 911 and go to the ER.
At first I laughed about it...really. I don't feel or sense anything else differently just that. At first I didn't take it serious when I decided to check my blood pressure. So then I started to take things really serious after checking it 4 times! 4 times!! two times sitting, two times standing. What? how is this possible? My B/p has always been around 121-122/70'ish. only times it slightly higher is if I am in pain or stressing over something, but now like 182-191/80'ish. It never went about 100 (the bottom number)..but it concern me about the upper number. So after talking with Julie (Judy's daughter who was visiting), I decided to call 911.
While in the bus, the EMT took my b/p it was like 160ish/80ish. So I had wondered if maybe something was wrong with my machine. Why did it drop like 30 points? My blood sugar was only 104 ( I had just had my A1c done and it was 5.7). It was weird. Anyway spent most o the day in ER. Doctors going back and forth to what may be causing the droopiness. They did a MRI and I never heard from anyone else since. I was discharged about 7 hours later. No one gave me answers. Nothing. So Monday I called my primary to get answers. Didn't get one until Yesterday (Tuesday). but only can tell you what Grief will do to you ...physically. Its NOT that I am doing anything wrong...its the way Grief works.
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For Sunday and Monday I worked in the yard, adding mulch to most of flower beds with some lavar stones for areas where water fell and caused flooding. I so much enjoy gardening and wish I had my own place. I would have a botanical garden- a paradise a piece of heaven. I know this is what God is preparing for me for heaven. Of course I would make my memorial gardens too. Gotta have that!
Monday, I shaved 99.9% of Khandi's fur off of her. She hated it but I really wanted to give her a good flea treatment. Lizzy got a good hair cut but now Khandi looks (and probably feels) naked. I also gave her a good flea bath and put the flea collar on her. Going to go purchase more of the pills for them. I love my girls and want to give them the best when I can.
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For my devotions, I have been reading from Stormie Omartian, "The Power of a Praying Woman". What a fabulous book. Another big step towards a closer walk to God. How I know I need to change my inner self to have that closer walk, but mostly, how I should change the way I communicate with God.
I also decided it was time to get a new Bible. The one I had was over 30 years old and my puppy had pretty much chewed the cover off of it. Hope it was good food for that soul! Seems like most on my FB liked the NKJV, so that is what I am searching for but with wide margins for good note taking/studying.
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One thing I can say is that I hate being told what I can or can't do or say especially by family who still thinks they can control my life. I'm 54-I can make my own decisions and choices. God will judge me on those choices. The other thing is being played as fool and lied to...especially from people you are suppose to trust. Twisting your words and accusing you of things that are so inaccurate.(thank God for text that tells you differently). I am at the point now that I just have to do what is right for me and stand up for my beliefs...for God's standards and what I need to do for God and walk away from those who can't stand there and be honest. All I can do is leave it to God and know on judgement day, they will have to answer to God as I would for my own behaviors
I so sincerely want to do things for God and I know He is testing my faith and to see if I trust in Him. And oh I do, but sometimes I look back at my behavior for that moment and question whether I do or not trust Him. But I think to myself, "ok my behavior seem immature, however, it does not excuse what they said or did. "
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Its been a year since I heard last from Victor, Tim's dad. I don't know how he is doing and yes whether I should or not, I do care. I am missing Timothy so much and although I no longer care what people think of me or think I"m crazy for bringing him up alot, as his mother I miss him greatly and yes still weep. Oh which by the way, now to think of it, I need to make a phone call.
....later!
....later!
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