Journal Jesus with Homelessness

Jesus with Homelessness 

 Although things seems to be on the bright side, my grief is still overwhelming. At times, as a mother, it is very painful and the heartache never goes away.

I am working on going to Santa Fe with the Adult Education program. I am still trying to get my vocational rehab transfer back to this area for my ticket to work.  I am trusting God and believing that He will take care of me some how.

I had the chance to spend some days with a good church family friend and we did some things together, including going to Santa Fe and doing some job search.  We also did some grocery shopping and had a good supper with OJ and Katia.  

Yesterday, my grief for Timothy was overwhelming at church that I found myself on my knees crying begging God to bring Tim back. I found a video of Timothy and heard his voice again and I just bursted out in tears.  Thankfully I have good friends at my church who was comforting to me.   

However, we are very much seriously thinking of opening a very much needed Homeless shelter for Adventist members.  IT will be called The Timothy M. Bird Homeless Shelter for Adventist Members.  WE have at least 5 at our church right now that is homeless that we know of and I feel the church as an organization, not necessarily as a local is not doing anything for their homeless members.  It saddens me that is just easily swept under the carpet.   How sad that is not looked upon. 

Hey remember- Jesus was homeless too.  Many times slept in parks, on the ground, in caves and if fortunate in some homes.    When we live by example, I hope he did not mean we need to be homeless too...lol...but I think He meant is how you treat them, help them, bless them, love them and minister to them. However, the way we treat each other is the way we treat God.  Show love and respect, kindness and hope.  Its what Jesus was about.

I know God is having me go through all this since He knew that is the one thing I wanted to minister and I must experience it myself to totally understand it. He is preparing me for something much greater than I am expecting. 

I ask for your prayers to not only help me find a good stable home but mostly to help us find the funding for this new homeless shelter.  There is so much to do to prepare for it, we know that,   but also need funding too. So we do want to do fundraisings.  WE hope that you will be willing to participate and help make a difference for these families and individuals. 

Today I had the chance to help the Pathfinders getting ready for the Osh Kosh trip. I wish so back that I can go.   But I know they will receive many blessings going up, especially while there and coming back. I just can't wait till I see all the pictures and videos.  I hope I can put a movie together for Pathfinder Sabbath.  But today while helping with the cleaning and orgainizing I got the sense  they kids suddenly didn't want to help me, or be near me, or talk to me. It was like I was invisible.  Even Pastor Dan wasn't listening when asking the girls  to do what I just done.   Like I was not there, or didn't anything- unappreciative for helping out. I got some sense of it from the adults to like no one want to talk or listen to anything I had to say or my input.   Next year, for sure I am NOT going to be the secretary for them. Its not that I don't want to, its just because there lacks so much communications and there is so much confusing.  Its seems like the parents were taken over and making sure things get done with at times the leaders either didn't listen or did anything.  Don't mean to sound harsh, or rude or disrespectful in any way...but I love these kids and they are a big part of my life and to be treated like this today just sadden me so much.  I only heard one thank you and from a parent.  I am no different of a person than before January 3 or Tim's death. Yes I have lost so much since March, but I am still the same person, dealing with grief and diffently...lol...have matured alot in my Spirituality.

Sometimes...lol...I raise my hands to God and ask Him what am I dong here?  and why?  Oh I know He is preparing me for a great assignment, I don't know what it is, where it is, or with whom, But it will be great. I will surely work with the Pathfinders...but I need for them to trust me as much as I trust them. I am no monstor.  I have had hardship in my life and most of those kids have no idea what that is like...yet. But one day they will know by personal experience and then declare to God.  Maybe some parents have experience it and know about it, and perhaps shared it but until you are in those shoes, no matter what, still show respect to that person. 

You never know, God may be one of us.