I wish Tim's 3 uncles who are police officiers would had been men enough to acknowledge his existence when he was alive and more so after his death. I don't know what the hell they are so afraid of? His father? Why did they constantly run to him and "title tale" every time I stood up on somthing for Tim even if they didn't like what I had to say. Guess what? Grow up! But most of all stop holding a grudge because someone said the truth. Who cares you didn't like it. Guess what, there is a lot of stuff I don't like either, but at least it helped me to grow up, learn abit and became a better person. And I didn't hold a grudge! You learn to forgive and live or better yet MOVE FOWARD!! that is part of growing up!
The funny thing is yesterday I had to take Judy to meet up with her brothers and it was funny to hear how people "Hate" each other or as I would constantly tell people, "you don't hate them, you just hate what they do or say" There is a big difference. Family is family. And yes we all are going to disagree. Lets face it, let us agree to disagree.
One thing I have learned since Tim's death, learn to love each other, appreciate each other, forgive each other and hold each other especially your children. Once your love one is gone, that is. there is no going back. You can't go do things or say things once they are gone. God puts people in our lives for a good reason. For a purpose. We need to open our eyes and ears and listen to why these folks are in our lives. Learn every day to say "I love you. Hug them. Appreciate them.
I can say for many years God prepared me for Timothy. Then I had Timothy in my life. And through Timothy, God used him to prepare me for what He has planned for me. And then I became homeless. And through that homelessness I learned to appreciate what God had for me but yet still God used that homelessness to polish me, to mold me to help me become a better me through Him. But He using that to prepare me for something great. I still don't know what it is...or why but I know its for a purpose and a good purpose.
I don't have a grudge for Tim's uncles or even his father even if I know they still do against me. Why? i don't know and really I don't care anymore. I just know if they don't let go, they will have to answer to God on Judgement day. and YES!!! Tim and I will be sitting right next to God with our protest signs!
Baptism day is coming. It will not be about membership, it will be about my commitment to God and thankful for the blessings He already has given me- and yes that even meant Timothy.
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