HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!
Wow!! What a ride this year has been for me. Talk about a
roller coaster ride. I honestly believed
this year was going to be the year of favors from God and little did I know, it
would also be a year of challenges and losses.
What started out as a simple appendicitis (January 3rd),
only ended up with cancer in the appendix.
Because of that, I lost 1/3 of my colon and spent the next 2-3 months
with an open wound, slowly healing but closing on its own. All through this, I cried not one tear. I
continue to be positive and knew that it was all in God’s hands.
In the midst of all this, Timothy became ill
and on March 1, in the early sunrise hours in his sleep, he stopped breathing. We did do the one CPR he asked us to do, but of course, it did more
damage than good like we told him it may do. They got a pause back, but he
suffered severe damage to his ribs, lungs and suffered a stroke. His body swelled like a balloon. In his dying
hours I put on his head phones as he listened to his favorite bands, I held his
hands and talked to him. Reminding him that his body was now giving up on him
even if I knew his mind was strong. The whole week while he was ill, struggling
with his blood pressure, then his oxygen level, his mind was strong and I let
him know what was all going on, but reminding him of God’s love and forgiveness.
His body began to shut down, and in his final moments, I climbed in bed with
him and at 1:36pm, Tim went in peace with God while in my arms. During all this, I was still suffering from an
open wound. The shock of it all, Timothy passed from Sepsis, yet, while I was
in the MICU with him all week, I never got the infection. Although I am angry
and sad that he did, I knew I was blessed that I did not.
As a mother, I know how painful this was to lose your only
child. It’s a heartache pain that no parent should experience and wouldn’t wish
it upon my worst enemy. Due to the loss
of Timothy, by May I became homeless. Not only did I lose my son, my home and
yes even my cat I knew my journey will be rough and challenging. I spent two weeks in Jacksonville with my
dear friend, Dina. Wow. I loved being with
her, helping her parents and while had fun working in her flower beds, during
one weekend there, the girls (Khandi & Lizzy, my two yorkies) went to the
beach. That was the first time I was at
the beach in a long time.
I spent the next 45 days in the Orlando area, constantly
looking for work and a place to live. It
was like hitting a brick wall. By the July
4 weekend, I found myself back in the Gainesville Florida area again instead of
Miami. It was like when one door
closes, another opens. After spending another
week in a hotel and a few weeks with some good church friends, God opened
another door where I found myself doing exactly what I told myself not to do- “caregiver.”
As of this last week,
I am officially no longer “homeless” or living out of suitcases. I was able to move
in what I can from storage, mostly Timothy’s things to stay connected. I also created the Tim’s RUB YOUR HEAD Campaign.
Along with that we are working on the DUCHENNE MEMORIAL WALL and The
TIMOTHY M. BIRD FOUNDATION are in the works & all in the Memory of
Timothy. You can read more about it
at: www. RubYourHeadCampaign.com All also has a Facebook page as well.
This has been a challenging year for me. I have
had my dark days and yet, there is always that light guiding me back. Yes, as a mother, I have my grieving moments.
Sometimes you never know when you will burst out in tears –but God has been
with me no matter what.
You can read more about Tim’s
Anniversary Memorial Celebration (February28/March 1) &
my journey (since Tim’s death) at my blog: http://deesnewjourney.blogspot.com/
I pray and hope that you have had a prosperous and year of
goodness for yourself and your family. I
pray that the new year will bring all of us abundance of goodness with God’s
love, acceptance & forgiveness.
I so much
look forward to hearing from you! With
love & Happy Holidays!
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